Coming To You Live From Sunny Utah

I am at the Utah Library Association. I showed up ready to put my booth together to find I did not have my box which has ALL my stuff in it. Further discovery found out that the box was shipped from the home office and will not arrive until Friday - the show ends Thursday. OK plan B - since I have a double booth, how do I fill it up? Should be fun.

I will leave you with another Allieism. Have a good day - and enjoy the warmth. The high here today is 49. What is up with that?

What A Weekend

It is Sunday evening, and I can let out a big sigh of relief. We made it through.

First thing Saturday morning, at 5:30 am, I took Kelsey to the JR HS so she could go to a choir competition at Fiesta Texas. They drove to San Antonio and back that day. The choir won all superior ratings and they took first place for their division! But, the most miraculous was that Kelsey rode Superman. (Kelsey gets her sense of roller coaster adventure from her mother).

The bus arrived back home at 1:00 am. Eric was on late duty and went to go and get her.

Sophie had a game on Saturday, and they won! They are undefeated and loving this season. Too bad they tied the number one team, so if we keep this up we will be second (and I am one of THOSE kinds of mothers...). Update since I wrote this - Eric logged on to the league website and we are number one! The first place team lost a game!!! Now I am really one of THOSE moms...

The real big thing for Sophie was that she spoke today in Stake Conference. I think that is cruel and unusual punishment to force an 11 year old to speak at Stake Conference, but she did amazing. Her delivery was flawless. My heart was pounding out of my chest because I was so nervous for her, but she did not look flustered at all.

Eric took the little girls and the scouts to the re-enactment of the Battle of San Jacinto. Our bishop participates each year, and they had fun there. It gave me time to work on the garage which is now clean - the last of the unpacking is done! Of course, we still have crap in the other garage to move over....

When you add the two school projects currently underway and the date for the boy on Sat night, it gets crazy, but that is what we signed up for with five kids!

Allie spent all of stake conference drawing, and her cards were FUNNY. I have scanned them and will share periodically. To start with I will give you Kelsey's and Ryan's.

In case you are wondering that is Kelsey on the couch telling Allie to go and get her a coke. Leave it to Big Al to provide us with humor.

So Maybe I Am NOT That Smart Afterall

Do you remember a month or so ago, I had a rant about the readability test of my blog, and how it was better than Sarah's? I was high and mighty and very very wrong.

This is what I have discovered in my very scientific and thorough research. It is counter to what you think. If your blog has a readability score of elementary school, it means you know how to write a coherent and readable sentence that contains all the good stuff - subject, verb (I almost just wrote vowel which would only back up my theory), period, etc. The higher the rating the more educated you need to be because what is presented is not clear and concise.

My niece Hannah, whom I love and I think is the best most smartest 14 year old niece in the world had a readability of genius. Hannah has a type of dyslexia and the written word is not always her friend. That is what sealed the deal for me. (and by the way I think Hannah is a genius - and pretty cute as well).

So, there you go. For all of us who were walking around patting ourselves on our backs thinking we are SO SMART, not so much. I proclaim loudly that Sarah is smarter than me. Was there any question?? But now I do know how to use manicheism in a sentence - see I can be taught.

Isn't It Great To Be The Mom?

This morning as I was asked my 100th question of the morning, it was does 30 mintues equal an hour, I was struck by how our children view their mothers as the smartest people on earth. Stay with me here. They ask everything from what's for dinner, and then ask if they like said dinner, to where is my _______?

We have to know the basics of all the major subjects - science (how come my finger moves like this?), math (what is 1/2 cup plus 1/2 cup?), English (no Allie, worser is not a word), etc. etc. Then when you add the whole being their moral compass thing, it can get overwhelming.

The great thing is - they think we really do know it all. That is until the magic day when the fifth grade math stumps mom, and the perfect persona is shattered.

But how cool is it that for a while, someone thinks we are perfect? Now don't get me wrong, dads are important and cool as well, but they are just not around as much.

It reminds me of something I have heard attributed to Brigham Young (don't know the source of even if it is true, but it works for me). He said if he could only educate his sons or his daughters he would educate his daughters because they would raise the next generation.

So moms, bask in your perfection while it lasts. And even after the perfect persona has been shattered, you will still get your fair share of where are my shin guards. This is what makes us moms.

Spring Is In The Air

This morning I went out for a run. I strapped on my water belt, yes I am a total nerd, gto my ipod, and did my four miles in the 94% humidity. As I was running I had two observations.

Even in the heat and humidity, it was wonderful to be out running. I kept getting a whiff of Jasmine. It smells so good. We had some at our old house, and we need some at the new house. As I would run by and breathe in the good smells, it would make me smile. The pic is from my neighbors house - they have a big bunch of the stuff and it is great.

Second observation. I am old (if the above paragraph about flowers did not let you know that I am old, this will). I was listening to my ipod, and Only The Good Die Young by Billy Joel came on. I LOVE Billy Joel. I have seen him live twice. I loved all his stuff.

I remember going to the Hill Cumorah Pagent in 1984 with our ward and my friend Heidi came with us. She and I have been friends for uh 28 years now, we were in different wards growing up, but were the same age (except I was two days older so I am the older more mature one of us), so we became great friends. We roomed together at BYU, and still keep in touch today.

Anyway, I digress. On that trip we were listening to said song and she told me she had just read in some book that the lyrics were bad and it was not the type of song a good LDS young woman should listen to . We both said, What? we LOVE this song, and hummed merrily along the whole way up and back. We would show those "old" people that they don't know what they are talking about!

Fast forward 24 years. It comes on today, and it hit me. It is really not appropriate. I love it, and will keep listening to it, but it is not appropriate. Trying to convince a young girl to give up her virginity? Not OK. Which makes me old. I am agreeing with the old people who say things like, "you call this music?" (I have heard myself say that to Ryan on more than one occasion, but can't we all agree that RAP is NOT music?)

So there you go. I am old. I enjoy smelling flowers, and think Billy Joel is inappropriate. It's all downhill from here... Next thing you know I will be commenting on the firmness of the peas for dinner, right Heidi???

It's Always Fun When Grandpa And Grandma Come

I flew home on Friday night, and my parents beat me down here. They were coming to see the new house, see the twins perform in the fine arts festival, see Sophie's game, see Kelsey perform in the fine arts festival, and finish Ryan's merit badges with him. Quite a lot in a short period of time!

They were troopers and we did everything. The twins and Kelsey did great, Sophie's team won, and Ryan has two blue cards ready to go! (now all we are missing REALLY is the eagle project!!! get going boy) It was great to have them here - even living close we don't see them as often as we would like. They have been travelling up a storm here lately - to Matt's graduation, to Patrick's basic training graduation, and to see us in the last three weeks. I think this is a sign of things to come - if you have ten kids, and they grow up and have kids and do great things, you will be busy.

You can see Allie has on a necklace in the pic (that was outside the HS). She asked my mom to put the necklace on her so that mom could tell she and Caroline apart. That is Allie, always thinking of others.

My mother has lost 166 pounds since last April 1. Yes you read that correctly - one hundred sixty six pounds. She looks great, and her health is 500% better. She has had type 2 diabetes and it was really bad for a while. She is now on NO insulin! It is great to have her running around like a kid. I pulled into the driveway and she was playing four square with Allie, Caroline and Sophie! That was a picture I needed. I got no pics of mom, but will have to get one when we go up there next!

So, thanks mom and dad for all you do. We love you and love it when you come. They left with about 50 drawings compliments of Allie and Caroline! That is what it is all about.

It Takes A Mighty Good Husband To Be Better Than None

Stacey left me this quote on a recent post, and I totally agree. I am lucky enough to be married to a mighty good man, and this is our 20th anniversary. Today. Tax Day. While I am in Dallas at a show.

To celebrate I thought I would show some pictures of us through the years. Some did not scan so great, and most are embarassing. But hey, it is us.

This is when we were dating, December 1987.

A picture from our wedding day. We were married in the Dallas, Texas Temple. We were the last wedding in the temple before it was remodeled. We had to move our wedding date up four months to make it before it closed to renovate for a year! My parents thought we should just wait a year. We did not think that was such a great idea. Now that I am closer to the parent end, not the daughter end, I can see some wisdom...

A picture from our first year of marriage while we were both students. Scary hair and all. Circa 1989ish.

Mid 90s. We were in San Antonio for Eric to run the marathon. I wish I knew a date - post 1992... They say the mind is the first to go.

Our first cruise was for our 10th anniversary. We never had a honeymoon, so this was our chance. It was great.

It is a good thing we went on cruises since this was our only time to have pictures taken. This was about 2000.

My brother and sister-in-law got married in Vegas - in the temple. So we had a chance to get away and enjoy the Vegas Temple, which is gorgeous!

This is post twins, a few years ago. Maybe 2003 ish...

And, here we are 20 years, and five kids later.

We many not be as young as we once were, but I can say I love Eric more today than I did when we got married. I am grateful he is a mighty good husband, and we are in this together!

The Letter Jacket

Ryan got his letter jacket today. I can't believe it! It is making the fact he will be a senior and leaving before I know it all the more real.

He ended up lettering in German. He has played football since he was in 7th grade - and will play his senior year. He would not be able to order his jacket until well into the football season. Due to the fact his friend was the Pres of the German Club and had been dragging Ryan around to all the activities, Ryan earned enough points to letter in German.

Did not know you could letter in German, but oh well.

He is excited because he has his jacket now, and the football players will not get them for a while.

So, here he is. My baby. Wearing a Tomball letter jacket. I guess the thing here is you put your last name on the jacket, and then you can put your first name, your nickname, or even a scripture in the "tail". Ryan chose his nickname.

Yes, his nickname is Mormon. Even the coaches call him Mormon. It keeps him on his toes. Nothing wrong with having to live up to the fact that EVERYONE knows your standards!

So there you are. This makes me old - lest you forget it is all about me!

The Best Things In Life Aren't Things

My brother Mark, or Rich Uncle Mark to my brood, sent me this article.

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2008/04/04/AR2008040403217_pf.html

The title is Three Kids? You Show Off. The jist of the article is this woman is going to have her third, and that is showing off in the mecca of NYC where it costs a gazillion dollars to have kids. Not that it does not cost here - have you seen the price of milk these days?

Anyway, it got me to thinking about my own brood. Then, my Mary Englebreit daily calendar was the title - the best things in life aren't things.

There was my sign. I need to be grateful. Be grateful for the opportunity to get up at 5:15 and make breakfast (it is a TAKS day you know), lunch and dinner for your family (do you love the crock pot or what?). Enjoy the two minutes Ryan will talk to me, the 3 hours Kelsey wants to tell me every detail about her day, the endless soccer practices I take Sophie to, listening to Caroline read (we are still learning) to me, and of course all the joy, fun, and frustration Allie brings with her comedy and drama. And of course, we can't forget Eric who after 20 years, yes folks in one week it will be 20 years, still make me laugh.

Now I said it. I am grateful. If it makes me a "show off" so be it!

Field Trip To The Zoo

Let me just start this by saying, I don't like field trips. I am sure that all the "good" moms out there are appalled, but what can I say? It just does not float my boat. Not very "nurturing" but hey it is the truth and that is what you come here for - the truth right?

I had a great excuse for years because the elementary school would not let you bring siblings on a field trip with older kids. Well, I had two younger ones, and I was good. Well, now the younger ones are seven, and I have run out of excuses other than, I hate field trips which is probably not the best thing to say to the bright eyed seven year old who thinks this is the best thing EVER.

So this year it is the zoo. All in all, it was not that bad. There was some whining by some kids - thankfully not mine. I am guessing it was too hard for them to walk? Not sure, but hey.

In all my pics of Caroline she is looking away. Nice. If you look closely you can see a Bald Eagle behind the two of them in the only good picture I got of Caroline.

This is Allie goofing off. There was a tube which went UNDER the fishes and she is letting you know she can't breathe. That child!

So, whew, another year of field trips done. A big check off my list. All five are outside swimming in the pool even as we speak. Gotta love a pool!

My Baby Brother Turns 19!

Now, that makes me old! (because as we know it is all about me) Steven had his 19th birthday yesterday. Between driving and flying into and out of Mississippi, I did not get to talk to him, or give him a tribute, so here you go doodles.

Steven was born 3 weeks before I graduated from BYU. My parents came to my graduation with a newborn and a 2 year old (yes, that would be you Michelle). It was a very mormon moment - and seals that fact that Eric has been in the Linford family longer than Steven. Crazy but true.

So, since I have never done this for him, 19 things I love about Steven:

1. In every picture I have of him he is holding one of my kids - or being climbed on by one of them. Although he was an uncle at 1 year of age, he is a GREAT uncle.

2. He if very funny.

3. He was a wrestler until a broken collerbone took him out of commission.

4. He has a harem.

5. He is very smart - not so motivated - but very smart.

6. He is very mechanically inclined - even as a little kid he would take things apart and USUALLY put them back together.

7. He has the power of the schmooze.

8. He marches to the beat of his own drummer (that's how he rolls).

9. He is always willing to help out - he will jump to and do what is asked.

10. He has his mission papers ready to go.

11. He is the baby of the family in every sense of the word.

12. Since he has the whole upstairs to himself, he has constituted his own open door policy.

13. He likes to help me build things - well he helps anyway.

14. He is doodles.

15. He can hold his own with his sometimes obnoxious older brothers(his older sisters are perfect).

16. He tries to teach Ryan how to be social.

17. He grew up with three mothers (not a polygamy thing, just a large family thing).

18. He is an Eagle Scout (I wish I had the picture of the shorts...)

19. He is an all around good guy and GREAT brother.

Happy Birthday Steven!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Just Another Manic Monday

Oh - it is Tuesday. What can I say, I feel like it is a manic monday. I still have not really hit my groove again after my show. For starters, the airline lost my luggage. Now, I never check my bags because of this very thing. But, I was handed an overhead projector at the show which I had to bring home.

I had to change airlines in Chicago - with only a 30 minute connection. Blah Blah Blah. Lost luggage not returned until Sunday morning. Messed up by system.

I have to leave again tomorrow for one night, and I have not recovered from the last trip. Woe is me. Don't you feel sorry for me?

I am off to drop Sophie off at soccer, pick up Kelsey at track, and make it back just in time to get Sophie and bring her home. The glamorous life I lead.

Picture is from Sophie's game a few weeks ago. One of the dad's has a great camera and took this picture. I love it. I have ordained him the official team photographer - not that he cares or wanted such a title, but oh well.

Have a happy day.

Useless Poll Information

No telling why people wanted to know this, but in London they did a poll yesterday. In said poll it was found that "People called James or Elizabeth are perceived as likely to be the most successful, while Ryan and Sophie are seen as the most attractive." Don't know why, but it makes me smile. For complete article, here you go.

But when you read the rest of the list, it says Caroline is 2nd for success and first for least attractive. What does it mean? I am sitting at the airport and entertaining myself with useless information (Eric called to tip me off to said poll).

In case anyone was wondering I did indeed read both New Moon and Eclipse on Friday of last week. Great books - go and read them right now. The fourth and final is not coming out until August, so now I need to wait and see what happens to Edward and Isabella (neither name made the London study in case you were wondering).

I am off to the frozen tundra of the north - Minneapolis - to stand in a booth, smile and make nice with a tons of librarians. Jealous???

I Am Obsessed

I do this every so often. Get obsessed with a book, or a series, and let everything around me fall down while I pretend I am not the mother of five children with responsibilities like job, home and hearth. This is my new obsession. The Twilight Series.

I read Twilight right before we moved. I was on a trip, came back, and had to finish the book. I liked it, and would have read book two but it was in storage. Well then we moved, unpacked and I read Nineteen Minutes for book club next month (loved that as well). Before I jumped into our next book, Pillars of the Earth, I thought I would read New Moon, book number two.

I started yesterday. I got back from my run this am and read straight from 7:30 am to 1:30 pm. I am done. (it is Good Friday which is a holiday at work so I am not really playing hooky). To continue my obsession I am about to start Eclipse, the last book written in the series.

I found New Moon better than Twilight, so I hope Eclipse is even that much better. I have not been this obsessed since Harry Potter - I know why the series has been compared to Harry. All I know is it is good. What does is say the YA Fiction keeps my interest like this? I will save the analysis for another day - now I am off to read and ignore my responsibilities some more!

Flying High

Another day of spring break down. Eric had made arrangements with one of his work folks who owns a helicopter to take the scouts up for a ride. They were able to go up two by two and see the area from above. They all thought it was great fun.

The girls and I stopped by toward the end to see the helicopter take off and land - oh did I say it was taking off and landing in the church parking lot? It was really cool. Of course Sophie and Kelsey wanted a turn, so the nice pilot went up one more time with the two girls and me. I felt a little sick taking off, but it was neat to see things from up there. Here is Kelsey in action.

If you look closely you can see Ryan in the passenger seat.

The twins were PISSED that they did not get a chance. That was two days in a row - no Big and Rich for them and no helicopter. We pacified them with Wendy's for lunch. This was a picture Eric took of them basking in the wind from the helicopter - it was funny.

So, for a boring spring break where we were not doing anything, it has turned out no so bad for the kids. Today will be the boring day - but Ryan is leaving for a two day backpacking trip with the scouts so it will just be Eric and the girls till Saturday.

We Were Having Ourselves A Big and Rich Time

The concert rocked!! It was so fun. I think I embarrassed the kids because I was not acting very matronly - but hey it was a concert.

Ryan announced that he had never been to the rodeo - I am not sure how that happened even the babies have been to a concert at the rodeo. So, he wanted to see all the pre-concert rodeo events. Last night that was only bull riding - it was extreme bull riding. Not sure what makes it extreme, since it alwasy looks pretty extreme to me, but I am no cowboy.

They played all the good ones we wanted to hear, and it was just fun!!! I want to load them all on my ipod and listen all day. So, go and have yourself a Big and Rich Time!

Working From Home Is Great Except

for the summer and spring break. We are in the midst of spring break right now and the kids are making me a little nuts. Trying to work, and meet the the plethora of needs thrust upon me is more than I can take! We have had the two of the Jones girls here since Sunday night, which actually helps to keep Kelsey and Sophie entertained. They are hostages in our house - we don't want them to go, but alas they will be allowed to go back to Jonesville today.

The best news - a neighbor knew I wanted Big and Rich tickets for the rodeo, and had some extra in his office, and gave them to us. So Ryan, Kelsey Sophie and I are headed out for a Big and Rich time tonight at the rodeo. It is supposed to be raining which will make it interesting, but we are looking forward to fun.

Now off to prepare for a webinar...

First Time In Pool

Yes, that is right. For all those of you who have deserted Texas for colder climes, here you go.

Allie and Caroline swam today for the first time (not counting Kelsey and Sophie's unauthorized and punishable jump in). It was either 66 or 68 - you tell me if you can read the thermometer. They were cold, but they loved it.

Just thought I would share!

I Could NOT Help Myself

I was reading Sarah's blog and she had a readability test - something that would test what level of education is needed to understand your blog. She tested hers and it was elementary school. Now, for anyone who does not know Sarah she is getting her Ph.D in English, and is a fabulous and very entertaining writer. I want to be her when I grow up. I just had to google how you display Ph.D correctly. Enough said.

I tested this load of crap and my readability was Junior High School. While I try and avoid all things Junior High School, this was too good and I could not pass it up. Try it for yourself on your blog - it is worth a chuckle.

So does this make me smarter than Sarah? You be the judge.

Allie and Caroline Turn Seven

I can't believe my babies are seven! Time sure flies.

This year we had two cakes for their birthday - I would love to say we had them because I was making sure each of them had their own individual cake to booster their self esteem. It is really because I wanted chocolate and they wanted white. So, one of each.

I let Kelsey and Sophie frost them, and Allie and Caroline wanted to do sprinkles. Since it was their birthday, I told Kelsey to let them do the sprinkles. This is what we got.







A little cake to go with your sprinkles?

Eric was sure they would be disappointed with their presents - I think everyone should be impressed I had any since we were in the midst of moving and getting the old house on the market. Luckily, they are seven and when they ask for more I say no and that is that.

As I think about how much they add to our family, I realize we would not be complete without them.


Allie, the oldest of the two, is our little crazy girl. She is more dramatic than Kelsey, and crazy all the time. She is always running around, and wants to play soccer and basketball. She is always up for going outside to play with the older kids - and very aware when someone is getting something she is not. Sometimes I worry she is a little ADHD since she cannot sit at the table and get her homework done! But, then I remember Ryan being JUST LIKE THIS. So, we don't worry, just keep directing her back to the table. She is a snuggler, and she still loves her daddy best (meaning she can still get him to do anything she wants).



Caroline is the baby of the family, and boy can she work that. She is not quite as hyper as Allie - calmer in a way. She can buckle down and get things done, but still loves to be loud and run around. She has a little diva in her (not sure where that came from) and it comes out often. She wants to be a cheerleader, still, and I might have to give in and get her to tumbling. She loves to design clothes - and she is quick to give her opinions on other designs. She is always putting great outfits together (great to her that is).


They have both grown up so much this year. They are working on reading - still at the early stages, but making progress. They both love to write and color, and they LOVE it when Kelsey and Sophie play school with them. They make me laugh, you never know what will come out of their mouths.


So, Happy Birthday Babies!!!